The Zohar

About a year ago, my spiritual teacher Josephine gave me a tiny book called The Holy Zohar.  Zohar is an ancient Hebrew word meaning "splendor."  The book had a very short portion written in English, the remainder, in Aramaic.  More than a little rusty in Aramaic, I was confused as to what value the book held for me.  The English portion of the book explained that the Zohar had been passed down as oral wisdom from Moses who received it along with the Torah on Mt. Sinai; this wisdom, everything worth knowing and experiencing in this world.  It was written down about 2000 years ago, in Aramaic and the Aramaic letters are imbued with the Light of the Creator.  Simply having this book in one's possession is said to raise the vibration surrounding him.  Scanning the pages, with no comprehension of the meaning, it says, will surround one with an aura of merciful protection.  Alrighty then!  I put it on my desk as a reminder of my dear teacher and there it sat.

A few days later, my family watched the 2014 movie Noah and the Zohar played a significant part in the film.  If I'd seen the movie any sooner, I would have had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Hmmmm.  Interesting.  Still, the tiny pocket sized book sat on my desk, unmoved except for dusting.

About "vibrations".....  In very simple terms, EVERYTHING, even a thought, has a vibration.  The analytical scientist in me loves that these vibrations can be measured.  (I recommend reading Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.  It blew me away as I learned how our bodies are finely tuned instruments that measure vibrations and there are very practical ways to use this instrument on a daily basis.)

Understanding the nature of vibration helped me understand "like attracts like" and the meaning of Matthew 13:12 "to those who have, more will be given."  As a Catholic, I never really studied the Bible but this passage always irked me when it was read as the Gospel at Mass.  Why on Earth would the rich get richer and the poor get poorer?!  David Hawkins' work made this crystal clear to me; it's all about your attitude, which is in fact, your vibration.  The rich aren't necessarily financially abundant, but rather those who are grateful for what they have and more just seems to come to them, quite naturally.  The poor are those who see their lot in life as insufficient and lacking.  You know these feelings and they are vibrations that can absolutely be measured.  Think about a time when you recognized something really amazing and wonderful that happened to you; this is gratitude and it would have measured at a pretty high vibration.  Then, the next thing you know, it's like you're on a winning streak.  Wow, I'm gonna buy a lottery ticket because it seems I'm living a charmed life!  Conversely, we have all had those times in our lives when we say "When it rains, it pours!"  "What else could possibly go wrong?"  These strings of events are happening because of the Universal law that like attracts like.

With this knowledge, I do my best to keep my vibration "up" as much as possible.  See the good and feel a sense of gratitude for it whenever I can.  Find the silver lining in a dark cloud if possible.  Going down the rabbit hole of self-pity or anger will not end well for me and I know this....but still there are times when I struggle.

Back to the Zohar.  A few months ago, I was feeling very low.  One of my daughters was really struggling and I felt helpless, watching her in pain.  I was scared and depressed; I could see that my state of mind was not helping the situation, but depression is hard to turn around (Again, see the Map of Consciousness in David Hawkins' Power vs. Force.)  I sought help for my daughter and through a kindred spirit and more bread crumbs from God, I found a new resource.  This was not covered by our insurance but after a lengthy interview over the phone, I decided it was worth the cost.  I accompanied my daughter to the waiting room for her first appointment.  I sat down to wait and looked straight ahead at a bookshelf.  There, on an easel for display, was a very large and heavy book staring me in the face.  It was.....The Zohar.  This was a sign for me that I was on the right track for my daughter.  I flipped through the book while I waited, amazed at how MUCH there was in this book compared to my tiny pocket version.  It brought me a lot of comfort and also, curiosity as to what this text might mean to me if I had the time to actually read it.

A few weeks went by and Josephine presented me with an early birthday gift.  It was the FULL SET of The Holy Zohar.  (FYI for those of you who know me well, there are 23 volumes in this set!)  I was overwhelmed....ask and you shall receive?!  Yeah, that.  I'd wondered about the Zohar and here it was....probably a LIFETIME of reading right in front of me.  I had no idea where to begin.  The boxes of books came home with me but life carried me away and I didn't read a word.

I received my certification as a life coach in December of 2015 and have felt the need to do something with it.  I have a few clients, run a support group and am preparing for a public speaking engagement in May.  I have been feeling like I NEED to get a website together, NEED to find more clients, NEED to make use of the investments I've made in this new career path.  I've been stressing myself out.  I'm anxious and nervous as I try to navigate the workload at my job that pays the bills while carving out time to work on my coaching business.  Add to that the fact that I still want to be the best wife and mother I can be to the loving family that has constantly supported me on my life changing journey.  I feel stress and anxiety and I KNOW this means my vibration is very low.  Knowing changes are necessary I am trying to find joy in the everyday but my skills are being challenged.

This past week was a doozy, there was a dramatic high and a directly proportional low, yin and yang for sure.  My daughter suffered a concussion during a water polo game.  There is never a good time to sustain a concussion but for a Junior in high school scheduled to take the ACT in 5 days, I thought the timing couldn't be worse.  I was worried sick with her debilitating headache and the damage done to the soft tissue and muscles in her neck.  These caused her to miss almost a full week of school then talking with the teachers, guidance and college counselors, the magnitude of the consequences took on epic proportions that overwhelmed me and threw me into a pit of despair.  

I couldn't concentrate well enough to meditate.  Prayer turned into short bursts of pleadings "Oh please dear God....!"  I have learned the best way for me to pray over the past few years. It's a matter of finding that place of stillness within me, and in a state of joy or gratitude expressing myself to God/The Universe/The Creator/Higher Self....whatever name you choose.  I was so down over the past week that I couldn't find my footing to pray the way I want to.

Yesterday after another muddled attempt at meditation, I knew I needed to take another avenue.  I needed something very tangible to illustrate what's going on inside.  Once highly skeptical, I have learned how our internal vibrations can be read using a variety of tools like pendulums and dowsing rods and I've been practicing with them.  Even tarot and oracle cards provide a wonderful means of communication with the Higher Self IF used with the proper intention.  I've been studying all of these and more as I have been on the quest to find mySelf.

First I grabbed my Tarot cards and asked "What should I be learning from these events that are upsetting me?"  Here's the message:

1. Card one describes the situation at hand.  The Hierophant, the Universal principle of learning and teaching that is experienced within life and the family, challenging us to trust our faith.  Learn how to walk the mystical path with practical feet.  Current challenges are being faced in order to grow.  Yep, this pretty much sums up EXACTLY what's going on.  
2. Card two describes the action to take.  The Queen of Rods.  Know thyself, self-mastery, self-reclamation.  Fluidity and aspiration is required to know thyself.  Self-discovery and awakening.  Yes, I need to know myself so I can learn these lessons!
3. Card three describes the outcome of this situation if I take the action described.  So, if I get to know myself well enough to grow from these experiences...what will be the outcome?  The Emperor (which is, not surprisingly, my LIFE symbol.)  If I take action to know myself and am able to grow, I will find power within myself and take on a roll of leadership.  I will be a traveler of the globe who can make things solid and secure.  Adventure and exploration will unfold.  My mind, heart and spirit will unite in decision making and taking action.  Change and transformation will result.

This is pretty much the story of my life, summed up in three cards.  I'm always stuck in my head, I need to apply what I've learned.  I need to know myself as the creator of my life (no more looking outside and asking what others think!) so I can be fully awake in this life and if I do, it seems all the things I dream of (travel, adventure, exploration, clear decision making and confident action) will come about.  I WILL BE changed and transformed as I desire.

Then the Zohar popped into my head.  Where in the world to begin?  Josephine had given me an index and there were many topics I thought might be applicable.....cleansing, energy of life, healing, protection, taking control.  I decided to use my dowsing rods to help me understand which volume would help me the most, but NONE of the topics I THOUGHT would be useful gave me a positive reading.  Very strange?!  So, I started from the beginning of the list and asked about each topic on the index.  I was absolutely stunned when I got a positive reading on....Marriage???  What??  Okay, I gotta trust this, right?  I went to the boxes of books and found volume 11..."Trumah Safra Det'zniuta"  Trumah loosely translates into 'how we are supposed to treat ourselves.'  Safra Det'zniuta; seems to mean 'one who knows it already.'  and I found this: "Although it is very lofty, nevertheless, it is a powerful experience just to read this section, even if on a conscious level one understands very little of it. There is much Light-power in it and it is said to bring blessings to anyone who reads it aloud in private....."

When I picked up this volume, an odd "bookmark" was sticking out.  

It seemed to be a product tag from some brand I did not recognize.  One side had a logo that read "not for everyone."  I looked it up and found this video....

N4E1 NotForEveryone from Backstage on Vimeo.

I had to laugh, this is SO me.  You either get me or you don't and either way is perfectly fine.

I began to read, where the bookmark fell out, between pages 32 and 33:  The Three Colors of the Flame.  Briefly summarized: 'One color rises up, one dips down, the third color appears to be concealed when the sun shines.  This color ascends and emerges to the crown, whiter than white.'   This was my message.  The two visible colors are my emotions (or vibrations) on a daily basis, I can be up or I can be down.  But it's that third color, the whiter than white, that highest vibrational energy that ascends to the crown of my head when I let go and absolutely surrender my will in dark times, THAT'S what I'm seeking.  

The message is always the same, I just need periodic reminders......let go, stop forcing things, it will all work out.  When this is my way of "being" rather than "doing," I will know myself as the true author of my life and this state will bring about all that I truly seek, that which is at the root of all desires.....peace, joy and love.

My daughter is still dealing with the symptoms of her concussion, I still have lots of questions and there are many decisions to be made to get her through the end of this school year, but I am in a better place today.  I was at the end of my rope and frazzled as I tried to control every variable.  Taking a "time out" yesterday, I got to reflect, connect the dots and indulge in some of the "magic" that makes my heart soar.  These things are always available for me, my body will always talk to me, I just need to relax and pay attention to the signs.

Please forgive typos and grammatical errors.  This writing comes in a flow from the heart and I admit, I am not perfect!