My near death experience in 2011 did not result from physical trauma as generally comes to mind when that term is used. The only explanation I have is that the emotional trauma of that night sent my physical body into a state of shock. As a result, it didn't occur to me that I'd had a NDE and I had many questions. The only thing I knew without doubt was that I wanted to maintain the peace that had enveloped me since the experience. I needed to understand how it came about in order to nurture it. So began a relentless quest to determine what happened to me.
I could share these feelings with a few friends. They listened patiently but none could offer answers. Over coffee one Friday morning in April 2012, my friend Laura suggested I go to Mystic Valley Book Store in Maplewood, Missouri. She told me about their wide variety of spiritual resources and helpful staff. It sounded interesting but I must admit, it was not compelling to me. I planned to check it out eventually, whenever I happened to be in Maplewood with time to kill.
This happened to be a special weekend for me. My husband, David, was taking our two daughters to Chicago for the weekend. I would have two days alone with my thoughts. He encouraged me to use this time to start writing about what happened to me in September 2011 and how it changed my life. I planned a little road trip out to my hometown, Washington, Missouri, with my bike and writing materials. My intent was to bike on the riverfront trail, stop in a quiet spot, meditate and figure out how to begin telling my tale. This was about as spontaneous as I’d ever been.
David and the girls hit the road for Chicago Friday afternoon. I loaded my bike onto my trusty little red car and I packed the necessities into my Camelback. I could hit the ground running on Saturday morning and make the most of my day. I was sure I’d have several chapters written by the end of the day!
I jumped out of bed the next morning, anxious to start my day but it was much colder than I’d anticipated. I had to delay my bike ride until it warmed up. I was determined not to sit home and do chores. What could I do?? The first thought that popped into my head was Mystic Valley. I generally mull things over to ensure the best possible use of my time….Is this en route to somewhere I need to be? Will I have to sit and wait in the parking lot until they open? Is there something else more important I SHOULD be doing? Not this time. The moment the thought popped into my head, I knew I was going. I just looked up the address and got in the car.
(A side note for those of you who do not know me. I am a degreed chemist. Before my NDE, life was simply about predicting outcomes; nothing was left to chance. There had to be a good reason for everything I did. There were goals to be met and along the way, no money nor time was wasted. In short, I wasn't a whole lot of fun.)
When I arrived at Mystic Valley I found a New Age bookstore. I had no idea why a book store would sell crystals and essential oils.....or incense? Then there was the sign on the front window identifying the psychic currently available for readings. Was this Laura's idea of a joke?
When I arrived at Mystic Valley I found a New Age bookstore. I had no idea why a book store would sell crystals and essential oils.....or incense? Then there was the sign on the front window identifying the psychic currently available for readings. Was this Laura's idea of a joke?
A friendly lady named Cheryl greeted me and asked if she could help me. I said I needed a LOT of help but didn’t know where to begin. She asked some questions and listened to my story. She offered some ideas, but her explanations made no sense to me. Cheryl said a reading by Bree, the psychic on hand, might be helpful. Would I like to have a reading? Bree had been booked solid for the morning but amazingly, there had just been a cancellation and she could take me immediately. Yeah, right, just HAPPENS to be available? Ha! Probably not one person scheduled, that’s why she’s available! This is ridiculous. I’m not that stupid. NO WAY!! I opened my mouth to politely decline the offer and I blurted out “Sure!” What did I just say? How did that even come out of my mouth? I can't imagine the look on my face. My mouth had completely betrayed me! I was too embarrassed to change my mind as Cheryl was so anxious for me to meet Bree. I decided to chalk it up to another of the recent oddities that had been cropping up in my life and go through with the reading.
I went into a little room for my reading with Bree. She didn’t look like a crazy lady or some black magic voodoo lady from a swamp in Louisiana. Bree could have been the lady checking out in front of me at Schnucks or a friend from church.
Since I thought this was a total waste of time, I didn't take notes or record the reading so I recall very little of it now. Bree used Tarot cards and told me that I’d been through some life-altering changes. (That’s an understatement!) She told me the changes were very good and if I continued on the path I’d chosen, life would get even better. Bree told me many other things that were true, but my highly evolved sense of skepticism quickly rationalized or explained them away as broad generalizations that were probably true for the majority of the population. As I was listening to Bree I was trying to debunk her as a fraud in my head. I was too smart to fall for all of this!
Bree does a special “12 Month Forecast” with her readings. She tells what to expect for each month in the upcoming year. The first card she drew told of the following 30 days...mid-April through mid-May 2012. She said sometime within those 30 days I would “cross paths with a significant connection to my past.” Again, Skeptical Self steps in and says I run into people I know ALL the time, this is no revelation! The remaining 11 months were predicted for me, but I don’t remember anything else because I was soon overwhelmed by an incredible turn of events.
Cheryl recommended a book called Ask and It Is Given and I decided to buy it. At the register, she explained that she just purchased this book for her daughter who was headed for Truman University in the Fall. I mentioned that I’d graduated from Truman, but back in the days when it was NMSU. What a coincidence..... Cheryl's ex-husband graduated from NMSU too, maybe I knew him? His name is John Smith. (Not his real name.) My knees buckled and my head began to swim; I had to hold onto the checkout counter to keep my balance. I broke out in a cold sweat. I had a very hard time verbalizing to Cheryl that I, in fact, had dated John all through college and was engaged to be married to him in 1989. Time stood still at that moment as I realized that Bree's prediction had just come to pass in no uncertain terms.
Much to my surprise, Cheryl came around the counter, hugged me and said "You're NANCY!!!" Once the immediate shock wore off and I felt like I could actually speak, I told Cheryl what Bree had predicted not 10 minutes earlier. We both marveled at the situation and talked like long, lost friends.
Afterward, I sat in my car for a while trying to comprehend what had just happened. I thought about the strange series of events that brought me to this point....literally shaking, in utter amazement, in this parking lot I'd never seen before. There was absolutely no way to logically explain how this could have come to pass. I just knew with every fiber of my being that God, (the Creator, Source, whatever term you care to use) was tapping me on the shoulder. As much as I wanted to think I was in control of my life, this was all orchestrated for me. Then peace settled in. I was completely at ease. In my heart I simply understood my life is Divinely guided and this was absolutely meant to happen. I believe this is what Rudolf Otto and Carl Jung would refer to as a "numinous experience."
In retrospect, this someone or something had been trying to get my attention for some time; I just wasn't "listening." I didn't know how to listen, my life was so busy and full; no time to sit and simply go within, to listen. I knew how to pray and did all sorts of talking TO God, but never took the time to listen for a reply. It took an experience of this magnitude to shake me up because I was so set in my way of experiencing life. It took the proverbial two by four upside the head to get my attention. I laugh now, wondering what would have come next if I hadn't listened this time.
I drove to Washington in a daze, filled with questions. What does this mean? What should I do now? How can I receive more? Who can I share with? I rode my bike with boundless energy. I was overflowing with a unique sense of joy, and the town looked different to me. It was like seeing Washington for the first time, like riding my bike through a movie set made to show me a parallel life I hadn't seen the first time around. Familiar sites reached out to me, each revealing a lesson learned in some tiny fragment of my life. These were life lessons that caused my soul to grow through seemingly insignificant experiences which I couldn't have recognized as they were unfolding. The lessons of my earliest years were crystal clear to me now, passing by on my bike. It was sort of like being in two worlds at once.
After riding for hours, I enjoyed a sandwich from Joe's Bakery and Delicatessen at a sidewalk table. I relived the incredible day in my head, relishing every moment. I was filled with gratitude.....gratitude for everything from the most profound experiences of the day to the most basic joys like the warm sun on my face and Laura's friendship which started all of this. I thought over and over again, "How fortunate am I?!" Then I realized I was crying. Tears of joy and gratitude had been pouring down my face and I was completely unaware. Who knows how long I sat there? Time took on different qualities that day; it simultaneously raced, stood still and went backward. I wanted to remember it all, but I needed to sit with it and digest it. This needed to settle in so I could figure out what it meant to me. I didn't write one word that day, let alone the chapters I'd hoped and I was okay with that. I was going with the flow for a change and it felt great.
For the second time in six months, I'd had a crazy experience that I wanted to share with the world. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that there is so much more to life than what's before our eyes, but I was only brave enough to share with a precious few, those I knew would not judge me. Still, I knew there'd come a time I would share with anyone interested in listening and I figured I'd be directed to do it.
I am a frequent customer at Mystic Valley these days. I marvel at how far I've come from the skeptical, critical person who walked through the door for the very first time two years ago. I'm expanding my horizons by following my heart and accepting experiences of all sorts even if they can't be explained or clearly described.
I still see Cheryl. She is a friend to me and I feel we share a unique bond. Cheryl told me this is one of the more remarkable stories she's encountered while working at Mystic Valley and she shares it too. If you doubt that this really happened to me, stop by Mystic Valley and talk to Cheryl. You might want to see if Bree's available while you're at it! : )
Please forgive typos and grammatical errors. This writing comes in a flow from the heart and I admit, I am not perfect!
Afterward, I sat in my car for a while trying to comprehend what had just happened. I thought about the strange series of events that brought me to this point....literally shaking, in utter amazement, in this parking lot I'd never seen before. There was absolutely no way to logically explain how this could have come to pass. I just knew with every fiber of my being that God, (the Creator, Source, whatever term you care to use) was tapping me on the shoulder. As much as I wanted to think I was in control of my life, this was all orchestrated for me. Then peace settled in. I was completely at ease. In my heart I simply understood my life is Divinely guided and this was absolutely meant to happen. I believe this is what Rudolf Otto and Carl Jung would refer to as a "numinous experience."
In retrospect, this someone or something had been trying to get my attention for some time; I just wasn't "listening." I didn't know how to listen, my life was so busy and full; no time to sit and simply go within, to listen. I knew how to pray and did all sorts of talking TO God, but never took the time to listen for a reply. It took an experience of this magnitude to shake me up because I was so set in my way of experiencing life. It took the proverbial two by four upside the head to get my attention. I laugh now, wondering what would have come next if I hadn't listened this time.
I drove to Washington in a daze, filled with questions. What does this mean? What should I do now? How can I receive more? Who can I share with? I rode my bike with boundless energy. I was overflowing with a unique sense of joy, and the town looked different to me. It was like seeing Washington for the first time, like riding my bike through a movie set made to show me a parallel life I hadn't seen the first time around. Familiar sites reached out to me, each revealing a lesson learned in some tiny fragment of my life. These were life lessons that caused my soul to grow through seemingly insignificant experiences which I couldn't have recognized as they were unfolding. The lessons of my earliest years were crystal clear to me now, passing by on my bike. It was sort of like being in two worlds at once.
After riding for hours, I enjoyed a sandwich from Joe's Bakery and Delicatessen at a sidewalk table. I relived the incredible day in my head, relishing every moment. I was filled with gratitude.....gratitude for everything from the most profound experiences of the day to the most basic joys like the warm sun on my face and Laura's friendship which started all of this. I thought over and over again, "How fortunate am I?!" Then I realized I was crying. Tears of joy and gratitude had been pouring down my face and I was completely unaware. Who knows how long I sat there? Time took on different qualities that day; it simultaneously raced, stood still and went backward. I wanted to remember it all, but I needed to sit with it and digest it. This needed to settle in so I could figure out what it meant to me. I didn't write one word that day, let alone the chapters I'd hoped and I was okay with that. I was going with the flow for a change and it felt great.
For the second time in six months, I'd had a crazy experience that I wanted to share with the world. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that there is so much more to life than what's before our eyes, but I was only brave enough to share with a precious few, those I knew would not judge me. Still, I knew there'd come a time I would share with anyone interested in listening and I figured I'd be directed to do it.
I am a frequent customer at Mystic Valley these days. I marvel at how far I've come from the skeptical, critical person who walked through the door for the very first time two years ago. I'm expanding my horizons by following my heart and accepting experiences of all sorts even if they can't be explained or clearly described.
I still see Cheryl. She is a friend to me and I feel we share a unique bond. Cheryl told me this is one of the more remarkable stories she's encountered while working at Mystic Valley and she shares it too. If you doubt that this really happened to me, stop by Mystic Valley and talk to Cheryl. You might want to see if Bree's available while you're at it! : )
Please forgive typos and grammatical errors. This writing comes in a flow from the heart and I admit, I am not perfect!
